The art of Ageing

Growing up my mom used to hate her birthday because she said it just reminder her about how old she was getting. Now being that I was younger I always looked forward to my birthday because the attention was about me. My 15th Quincenera was a huge deal for me. I will never forget that day, for good and bad memories of that day it was amazing. Then I was 18 and….PAAARRRTTTAAAYYYYYY!!!!!! LOL Even though I had been drinking since I was 11. Then 21 woot woot USA PAAAARTTTTTTTYYYYY!!! Like I said just another alcoholics excuse to get drunk. Then 25….FUCK YEA MY INSURANCE GOES DOWN. You have that little realization that you are an adult. NOW I am 42 hours away from being 30. Honestly I couldn’t be happier!!! I am still so excited for my birthday so let me explain as to why I am excited.
Okay so this year I have come to learn things about myself I never thought I would, I have grown in aspects of my life I never thought I would and I am learning things about the world that I never kne about. These are all playing a strong factor into who I am becoming, but at the same time they are terrifying. Okay so how often do you feel excited about a change and pertrified about a change at the same time…always?….ME TOO!! But I have set plans and goals and achievements for this year that this time I believe I am going to follow through with. I have come to see that the last 29 years were just a stepping stone to lead me into the rest of my life.
I finally have a vision as to what I want my future to look like! I have plans that will change my life forever, I have goals that I will achieve that I can’t remember not wanting, and to top it all off I am half way there. I love what I have been seeing in myself, now granted it has not been easy. You know as an adult how you have those like internal temper tantrums as if you were a kid cause you don’t wanna do the dishes, or don’t wanna clean up after your spoude, or don’t want the responsibility you accepted already. Those are still my sure signs that I need to do some more shadow work, I need to dig deeper into understanding why those things bother me so much. As I talk about it, it gets easier to try and pin point the real reason that situation made you feel that certain emotion. It is by far the hardest type of internal growth that I have ever had to try and accomplish and its something I will do my whole life. But now when I do it I feel so proud, its a new feeling to like who you are…let alone love who you are becoming…what a concept but 150% doable!!!
Blessed be motherfuckersāœŒ

Published by La brujita Marii

A little witchy, a little bitchy. Married to the human that makes my soul complete. On a journey to self-actualization which leads me to have a lot to say. Fur mom to 2 big shepards boys and a itty bitty fiesty kitty. Working towards a career that with fulfill the purpose I was put on this world for. The rest you find out as you read. Blessed be motherfuckers!

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