Well my intentions were to write this all actually on my birthday and then well my birthday happened haha, turned the BIG 30 on the 15th. Scorpio through and through may I add haha. There was a lot of emotions leading up to it and a lot of emotions on that day, I really wanted it to be a big deal but then realized I wanted others to make it a big deal and thats a side of me that I don’t quite like but I am working on figuring it out haha.
Either way I was so lucky because my hubby made it a big deal, he was able to be home and took me away for a weekend and just spoiled me rotten! I am so lucky to have the guy I do, I have been working a lot on my inner traumas from men and dealing with my battle since Lee has come out and I finally came to a comfortable healing stage. My teen years weren’t great, I was lost, angry and well just looking for trouble. My twenties brought in a lot of lessons, a lot of change, a lot of sadness, and a lot of growth! But they were equally as difficult like leading up to my birthday all I saw was struggle, challenges and hurt. I understand now that it needed to happen of I wouldnt be able to achieve where I am at today.
So I made the decision to make my 30’s different, I wanted to embrace them for the positive change for once. So the big ones were financially, I wanted Lee and I to be able to have everything we want and be comfortable with no stress. I wanted to find and embrace my image, I take a lot of pride in the way I look and I no longer have shame in saying that so I have been putting in the effort when I am shopping to really understand my style. And lastly is my career this one is still pretty hard for me to figure out because I have an opportunity that I want to put my all into but then I never have time to do that so I am still strugging there but I am not giving up. I am going to continue to put my energy into wanting to change work because my ultimate theme of my thirties is FREEDOM. So stay tuned for what comes up next.
Blessed be motherfuckers✌
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