New Year Motherfuckerz

Well well well, the end of 2021 is finally here. Anyone else feel like its a bitter sweet kind of feeling? Like man the beginning of this year for me was hard, and just shit to be honest. House hopping, so many toxic people around us, homeless level broke, then by the half way point was probably where things hit a stand still and then slowly started creeping up. I have been taking a solid look at the lesson that kicked my ass this year, and I have to admit I am pretty fucking proud. I have been talking about mental health and personal growth for what feels like my entire life but I feel like I never really understood what it meant to ME until this year. See I didn’t have the tools to really understand how to change even though I was given all the tools if that makes sense. There are certain things that I am understand I was not taught in this lifetime, so my understanding had a limit. Then the universe has been sending me, what I previously looked at as struggles, punishments, or just shit luck; I look back now and realize that my ancestors and higher self were trying to slap me in the face hard with some lessons that I didn’t have. Of course my past traumas have a solid hold on my intuition, but I am working on that daily. It has been such a crazy experience proving myself wrong over and over again but not seeing it. Like being brought up to believe that brujeria was fake, and that the spiritual world was filled with people who had lost there mind. To now physically feeling my energy and how it moves through me, to being able to quiet my mind enough to understand those voices I fought all these years were my ancestors trying to guide me. These personalities of mine that would switch just out of nowhere, to now having a better awareness of when its happening and continue to learn on how to channel them all in the direction to make my dreams come true. They all have different strengths and weakness but are a part of me and I know all of them can achieve everything I have ever wanted.
This year really pushed me to see that I have so much work to do but I have the ability to do and more! My mom told me my whole life that I could be whatever I wanted to be in life, and 30 years old and I finally believe her. For seven years Lee has shown me the type of support a woman could only dream of because he has told me that I was on this earth to achieve big things and I finally believe him. I have a few friends that have known me since I was a kid and I am so grateful to have them around still. I have made some relationships that have changed my life forever, I have built an amazing little family village for myself. This chosen life has been such a blessing, so I have decided to not mourn what I feel like I have lost of blood family, but I am going to celebrate the family that have chose me for me. Fuck I wrote this right after some really deep shadow work and it amazes me what we as humans are capable of.
I remember when I was in college studying psychology and learning Maslow’s hierachy of needs, and “Self-Actualization” just repeated in my head over and over again. To me, the definition of self-actualization is feeling like we are doing what we believe we are meant to do on this earth. Now I don’t have the exact answer to that one yet, but now I see myself planning the steps to get there and for me…that is soo fucking exciting!! This is my dream. To live out this life doing what I was meant to do, I am so close to knowing that answer I can smell it!!! But you gotta respect the journey, no one person’s growth looks the same as the others. I finally stopped looking at others growth so I can see what I needed to grow and then BAM lightbulb moment!!
I plan on big changes next year so stay tuned😉
Stay blessed motherfuckerz✌️

Published by Marii

Hey hey hey! I am a Bruja (Hispanic witch healer), a certified Intuitive Life Coach, and a online network marketer. I am married to the love of my life, we are both large advocates in the LGBTQ+ community as he is a transman and I identify as a pansexual. I promote an spread mental health awareness; from the knowledge I gained in my studies, as well as, my personal life experiences! I am an open book with a lot to say, so lets connect. Stay blessed!

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